Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
