I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
