just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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