Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
