he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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