Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
