next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
