Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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