were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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