R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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