His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
