hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
