If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
