still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
