i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
