ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
