i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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