So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
