R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
