I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The uberlube is also flammable
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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