I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
