It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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