Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
