We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
