I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
only if we run a train.
done.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
