You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
