That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
