Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
