I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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