i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize