just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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