soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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