So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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