Ambien. No doubt about it.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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