how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
