im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
