I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
