um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
