It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
