On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
