I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
