She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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