using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
