I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
