Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
