is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
