He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
