So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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