her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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