So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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