Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
