office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
