Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
